Soap is not a condiment
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
