i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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