I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
