There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
