Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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