Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Farmville is her only friend.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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