she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
