They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
