Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize