Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
