Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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