Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We are all done wearing pants today
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
