Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize