so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
