apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Actions speak louder than pants.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
did you just send me my own nude
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
