very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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