My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
