Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
