I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
