He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
