So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize