i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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