you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize