Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
