I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
