Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
