i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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