dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
