I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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