We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
