just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize