I love black thongs
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
