I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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