You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
