whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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