What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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