yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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