Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
