Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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