today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
