I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
