friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
