Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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