Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
