I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
