I like my sex mixed with concussions.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
