she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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