Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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