I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
