exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
