i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
