I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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