Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
