i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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