Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
