I wish I only lived at night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
